Wednesday, April 4, 2012

"...What....You Mean You Guys Actually Dress And Sing Like That On Purpose?...

Here's two things you don't usually think of at the same time.

Country music.

And snakes.

Leave it to me, though, there's a connection.

Stand by.

When Ashton Kutcher showed up at the Academy of Country Music Awards on Sunday night, he was ostensibly there just to hand out the female vocalist of the year award. However, he managed to take everyone's minds off the nominees for a few minutes, by showing up dressed in over-the-top cowboy gear and taking a stab at singing George Strait's "I Cross My Heart."

All in good fun. Right? Well, some country stars didn't take this little performance in a lighthearted manner. The artist to whom Kutcher presented the female vocalist award, Miranda Lambert, tweeted on Monday: "Was Ashton Kutcher making fun of country or is it just me?"

Turns out, it wasn't just her. Singer Justin Moore, who records for the same label group as Taylor Swift, went so far as to call Kutcher a "douche" on his Twitter account. "I don't care for people making a mockery of the way country artists dress," he clarified.

Kutcher answered Lambert's accusation on his own Twitter account Tuesday, stating "I Am One Of The biggest country Music fans you've ever met. Wasn't making fun at all." He then congratulated Lambert again on her success at the ACMs (she also won album of the year).

This morning as I paid my homage to the gods of physical fitness by walking on the treadmill for thirty minutes (brisk pace but actually getting nowhere, much like the Republican party these days, but, I digress), a favorite, but lesser known, pop song from bygone days showed up in my ear buds.

And while I didn't realize it at the time, it turns out that the song was not only providing me an appreciated aerobic tempo but was also a musical harbinger of things, in the form of entertainment news, to come.

Which will bring us back to do-re-mi-fa, so, give us a break, please, country music "artists".

The painfully obvious , even intelligence insulting, response to Justin Moore and Miranda Lambert and any or all other members of the song factory union, local number sixteenth avenue Nashville as regards their "being offended" at Kutcher's lame antics is, well, painfully obvious, even intelligence insulting.

Dear country music people....

You can't have it both ways.

You can't invite, include, embrace and/or encourage rock stars, sitcom stars, movie stars, sports stars, reality show stars, yada, yada, blah, blah blah stars to your little country music coronations and then be put out that they don't honor, embrace, endorse or respect your particular country music sensibilities.

Just as Justin Moore, et al, has no business handing out Tony Awards, Ashton Kutcher has no business handing out ACM Awards.

And, dear country music folk, if you're still not clear on the concept here, please re-read the first sentence of this little open letter.

If, after that, you still aren't getting it, allow me to offer you a musical illustration.

Fresh from my morning treadmill ear bud appearance to a blog near you.

Due respect, Justin, Miranda, et knew dern well he was Ashton Kutcher before you let him in....

So, shut up...

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